Practice What You Preach, Mama

Years ago, I started learning about how our stuff was made.  Where it comes from.  Who makes it.  How much those people are paid.  What kind of conditions they work in.  How old they are. The phrase "fair trade" entered my vocabulary.  (Not to be confused with free trade).

I am curious by nature.  When I started getting curious about the stuff I buy, I began research on clothing companies, shoe companies, and coffee.  I started making changes in our families consumption patterns.  I switched from Nike running shoes to made in the USA New Balance, for instance.  I stopped spending my dollars at certain stores.

But I conveniently never looked into chocolate.

Somewhere, lurking around the edges of my consciousness I knew there was an issue with chocolate.  I mean, they sell fair trade chocolate.  And come on, I made the very expensive diehard switch to fair trade coffee, and we are coffee addicts in my house.  When one of my extended family comes to visit we easily blow through one of those 12 oz bags in a weekend.

Besides coffee, I am addicted to chocolate.  As in, I will bust open a bag of chocolate chips in the pantry if I need a fix.

Have I mentioned that I love my daughter's New Moon magazine?  She loves it too, and spent a large part of the afternoon waving the new issue under my nose.  "Look, Mom - vegetarian recipes."  "Look, Mom, this is one of my (chat) friends who wrote this poem."  And then, "Mom, did you know this about chocolate?  You should read this article."

Damn.

This impossibly responsible looking redheaded girl is smiling up at me from the magazine pages telling me all about how she tried to get a certain chocolate company to change their labor practices and how they wouldn't do it. About how little kids slave away picking cocoa beans for terrible pay and such. I look up and see my daughter peering into my soul.  "We could buy that chocolate that comes in the colorful wrappers at Wegman's, Mom.  That stuff is fair trade."

I put chocolate chips in cookies, muffins, and granola bars (and straight into my mouth).  That is going to get quite expensive.

But my daughter is watching.

That's the hard part about trying to teach our beliefs to the younger generation.  Whether feminist or Christian or whatever principles we find important to share, if there is a whiff of hypocrisy about us, it renders our message irrelevant.

Talk is cheap.  Unlike fair trade chocolate.

But really ... Eww!

Long time, no see.  Or maybe you, like me, have been too busy enjoying your summer to notice that I haven't been posting?

I'm breaking the long silence with a strange news article today.  The kind that will make Jon Stuart and Steven Colbert so sad that they are off for 2 weeks. It appears that Khadaffy, Ghaddafi, or however we are spelling his name today, apparently has a crush on Condoleeza Rice.

Interesting.  This man is typically associated with being a despot.  Not exactly a poster child for supporting strong career-driven women.  But he admires "his" darling black African woman, as he puts it, and is proud of her. A Condoleeza photo album found in his compound serves as proof. 

Rice responded that the whole thing was a bit "creepy and bizarre." And let's admit, slightly humorous if you are not Condoleeza.  I don't know what your opinion of Rice is, but you have to feel kind of sorry for her that one of the biggest weirdos in the world has a public fascination with her.

Why am I posting on this besides the obvious reveling in snarky humor?  I find it interesting when men who, in general, do not support ideas like women's autonomy and freedom (or arguably, anyone's autonomy or freedom) have a thing for a strong, smart, independent woman.  It has long been said that the intelligent and  successful girls aren't boyfriend magnets.  But a woman with credentials and courage has a power of her own.  A woman like Condoleeza Rice, whatever you think about her politics, inspires admiration in many women for her accomplishments.  Not many women have been Secretary of State. In conservative administrations, no less.  Sometimes, even the most die-hard chauvinists fall for impressive women.  In a chauvinistic way. I don't know if that's a victory for smart, strong, successful, independent women or not. In this case ... not.

I wonder if Steve Earle wrote this song with knowledge of the Libyan leader's love of Condi?

Shiny Happy Baby Day!

Jovie Rae (formerly known as Baby T) is here!!!! I have no pictures yet, but she's 7 pounds, 7 oz. and I am doing a happy Auntie dance over here:)

Congratulations, Kristy! (and Mike, but, this is kind of a girl blog...)

Welcome to the world, baby girl! The world is already a nicer place because you're here!

Sisters and Friends

Oh, oops - that other article dated today was supposed to run on "discuss articles" Monday.  But it's there now. So I'm gonna go ahead and do a celebration post today and skip Monday:) Because my sis and her family will be here, and because you already got Monday's article.

Speaking of sisters, I love sisters.  I love that I can not talk to my sisters for weeks and they don't get mad.  And things are fine, and the same.  I love that we are a ready-made posse.  I love that we can fight but I never worry that they will stop loving me and I never think of stopping loving them. I love that they are SO LOYAL. (Loyalty is a theme with me).  I love their honesty when I'm wrong and their encouragement when I'm actually getting it right.  I love their sense of humor. I love their permanency in my life.  I love that they get me.  I love them.  Tons.

I also love my friends who are like sisters.  I have a few in a few different states, including NY:) A sister friend doesn't always have to be someone we've known for forever. But her friendship is comfortable. Let's be honest - female friendship can be a mine field sometimes.  You wonder if that friend is offended, if this one feels left out, if they think you are neglecting them.  Ugh! I don't think I am particularly good at being a friend.  I can tend to forget birthdays and other important dates.  I can be offensive.  I can crawl into a hole and disappear for awhile.  I can get in moods where I over-analyze everything. So I tend not to keep acquaintance friends very well. 

But the girls who are friends like sisters - who still talk to me like it hasn't been 3 weeks, who forgive my trespasses against them, who love me for who I am, who help me be brave, who totally have my back - I love you.  Thank you.  Several of these girls read (and contribute) to this blog, and I just want you to know that even though this summer has been a blur and we have been slogging through our separate little piles of crap I still appreciate you and couldn't live without you.  I think you are amazing, inspiring, and anyone who thinks otherwise, send them my way and I'll set them straight.

Even if we don't have sisters, or sisters who are friends, we probably all have someone who is a sister friend.  And our world is inhabitable because of them.

Watch Responsibly

I came across this article via a Facebook friend.  I thought of Amanda's Pull of the Moon comment about romantic comedies and the misunderstanding between Martin and Nan about romance.

So what do you think about this?  What do I think about this?

While I am not a big romantic comedy fan, I must admit that on occasion I have found myself falling for the lies of romantic comedies. And even books of the Christian marriage-help variety.  And have placed unrealistic expectations on my husband as a result.  When he is really a great guy just the way he is.  Bear in mind that he just took me on an utterly romantic Lake Placid getaway.

The pornography comparison ... do you think that's too strong?  I thought she had some good points.  Although, c'mon - there's a helluva lotta porn out there for men without them trying.  The big Victoria's Secret ads in the mall store windows?  The undergrads trotting around campus?  Commercials during football games?  We women can indulge in a little porn of The Notebook variety, right?  I don't deny men a little bit of viewing pleasure if we get our Pride and Prejudice.  Ahhhh, Mr. Darcy.  Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

I think we have to be wary of unrealistic expectations our culture cultivates in us.  I think people should be appreciated for who they are, especially when they are trying their best in relationships with us.  I don't think husbands should get away with being boorish, calloused jerks. But I think there is a standard that is unrealistic.  You can be a little awkward about sharing your feelings, buddy, if you're ok with me not looking like Brooklyn Decker.

I'm going to borrow the Catholic phrase "everything in moderation" and add "except if you're an addict."  I had never thought of there being women addicted to notions of romance.  I suppose we can get addicted to anything, and turn harmless things into dangerous ones. 

I catch a "chick flick" maybe once a year, so taking this out of my life would be barely noticeable.  But I must say, it would be really so sad for the world to lose even the notion of something so wonderful as Mr. Darcy;)

In Prison without a Cause

Maybe it's because I was just on a hiking trip or because my friend Cathy recently went to Uganda, but this article captured my attention.

What in the world is going on here?  Why are these guys still being detained?  The whole story is crazy and raises more questions than it answers.

It is difficult to stomach terrible things happening to people who do amazing work.  It is much easier to draw a line and say "these are the good guys and these are the bad guys."  It is hard to process that there are some countries in the world where being a U.S. citizen is not going to help you and can, in fact, make it worse for you.  It is even more difficult to think about the numbers of people around the globe unjustly thrown in prison and staying there.

Not a happy story.  Not things I want to think about with my husband planning a trip to Kenya.  But when I am grappling with stories I find incomprehensible, I try to imagine how I would feel in those situations. And I think those people around the world sitting in rotten prison cells for no good reason should not be forgotten. It takes real bravery to fight for people wrongly and arbitrarily imprisoned when the stakes are ... wrongful and arbitrary imprisonment.  I am not sure I could pull out that kind of courage from the depths of my soul.  But some people, thankfully, can.

http://www.amnesty.org/

Recipe Swap

Do you have certain go-to recipes - ones that just keep on giving?  Of course you do.  Not necessarily gourmet but good.

Long ago, a friend gave me a recipe for Lentil Tacos.  We ate them at her house, I asked for the recipe, she shared it.  And I've not only made them countless times since, but I've also shared that recipe more times than I can remember.  It is inexpensive, simple, and my whole family will eat it.  It was our gateway recipe to beans.  (Before that, Jeff would look at a bean dish and then ask "Where's the meat?!")

I love this about women.  Around the globe, most of us are still primarily responsible for feeding our people.  Sometimes it is a dreaded task to rush home and throw something together, but the best times are when we can find joy in the job.  Recipe sharing sort of capitalizes on what's good about women and cooking.  We stand together in solidarity and support for one another.  We want to help one another, make each other's lives better.  We want to share a part of ourselves with other women.

I love it when someone will post on my facebook page "I made Tiff's granola today." Or when a friend mentions that she made my pumpkin bread recipe and thought of me.  Because I understand that thread of connection; I thought of Carly last week when I brought her chicken strawberry salad to a get-together.

So for today, we will be like a lot of other women's blogs out there and we will do recipe talk.  I give you Lentil Tacos.  (Feel free to post one of your go-to recipes in the comments). Know that this can be played with quite a bit.  All except the liquid-to-beans ratio.  Don't mess with that.  But you can adjust seasonings or use vegetable broth or use whatever taco fixings you want.

1 cup finely chopped onion
1 clove garlic, chopped
1 tsp canola oil
1 cup dried lentils
1 Tbsp chili powder
2 tsp cumin
1 tsp oregano
2 1/2 cups chicken broth

Saute onion and garlic in oil until tender.  Add lentils and spices and cook and stir a minute.  Add broth.  Bring to boil.  Reduce heat and simmer 30 min. (or until soft). Take cover off, mash, and cook 6-8 min. to thicken.  Stir in salsa.  Use as taco filling.