Their Eyes Were Watching God

"Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board. For some they come in with the tide. For others they sail forever on the horizon, never out of sight, never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death by Time. That is the life of men.

Now, women forget all those things they don't want to remember, and remember everything they don't want to forget. The dream is the truth. Then they act and do things accordingly."

I must admit that the first time I ever heard the story of Janie Starks, it was through the lens created by Oprah in the movie.  I immediately identified with the dreamer, the survivor and eventually the rebirth of a woman.  

Can we also have a moment of silence for the steaminess of Tea Cake in the movie?

Okay.  Now that we have objectified a man on a blog exploring Christian Feminism, we can move on.

When I read the first paragraph, I immediately decided that this would be a book to be savored.  I read it slower than any book I have ever loved.  As a woman who has endured abuse from the men in her life, Their Eyes spoke to me on so many levels.  I can relate to a jar tumbling off of the shelf and shattering.  When Joe Starks first layed his hands on Janie, his image was forever changed.  Can you relate to that experience?

Maya Angelou has been quoted to say, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

The moment Joe Starks is revealed, is the moment that Janie burrows into herself and becomes a" rut in the road".  Reading those words caused a tremor in my chin.  The tears came so easily.  A woman abused quickly becomes less and less of herself.  Even in normal relationships, women have a tendency of forgetting to care for themselves.  Why do we forget our value?  Why do we forget that the knowledge of our worth will bolster what we are able to give to the world?

Can you relate to that feeling of hiding a part of yourself to survive?  I feel as women we are more likely to go inward to avoid confrontation and to enhance our chances of survival.  The only problem with that is the time it takes to dig our living selves out of the graveyard.

When Joe is laying in his death bed and cannot release his control over Janie, I was enraptured.  What causes a man to need to control a woman beyond the need to love her?  If love cannot be taken but only give, where does that idea come from? How can a man ever experience "true love" if he will not love a woman as she is living fully?

I love when Janie says that the grieving should last only as long as the grief does.  This leads me to think of how often we mold our reactions and our behavior around the cast set by our society.  We feel guilty if we don't cry at our child's kindergarten performance and bad if we do.

I love that it took Janie no time at all to release her hair, to lay in the grass, to laugh and to re-bloom. It seems like when Tea Cake entered her life, she was actively allowing herself to enjoy life.  She was choosing what felt right and good in her own eyes.

What did you think of all of the loose lipped gossipers in this story?  I found it interesting that even in a book written about a woman in the early 1900's, women were another woman's harshest critics.  There truly is nothing new under the sun.  What do you think motivates such judgement and harsh criticism in women towards other women?

My opinion is that those not living their fullest life will judge out of jealousy.  In an effort to make their life feel fuller. ....Kind of like a push up bra.  I know. I wear one.  I nursed. Three times. lol

What about Janie's relationship to Tea Cake and the fact that eventually, he smacked her too?  Why didn't his jar fall off the shelf?  Mine kind of did when I read this passage.  Their relationship was not perfect and neither was Tea Cake or Janie, but they loved each other wildly and they lived completely.  I love that part of the story.  Why did Zora (we are on a first name basis now) decide to throw in that slap?

After Janie kills Tea Cake to save herself from his rabid rage she goes back to Eatonville.  She is subject to the disdain and judgement of her community.  I find this to be so courageous.  She is still choosing to be who she is, where she is.

I think that these words are defining of the story and a call to all women.

"you got tuh go there tuh know there...Two things everybody got tuh do fuh theyselves. They got tuh go tuh God, and they got tuh find out about livin' fuh theyselves."

And finally,

"So much of life in its meshes! She called in her soul to come and see."

Feel free to chime in on the loads of questions above or give an insight about what touched your heart the most reading this book.   I only chose portions of the book that spoke to me.  Their Eyes Were Watching God will remain one of my favorites.  I read it ever so slowly because the lessons are clear and potent for a woman like me.

Peace and Grace,

Tashmica :)