Anything I Can Do, He Can Do... And Let's Not Worry About Better

It looks like we will be a 2 career family as of December 5.  While I am VERY excited about taking the position, I take it with the knowledge that I have never really had a career.  I've had full time jobs, but not a career.  Other than stay-at-home mom.  So perhaps more accurately, I'm switching careers.  My poor dog doesn't know that the number of walks he takes is getting drastically cut yet again.  My kids are a little nervous.  I'm doubting my ability to be even more dedicated in order to fit in running, and I am nervous about the quality of food my family will be consuming. I don't see a lot of homemade granola in our future anymore.  And while I know it's generous, 3 weeks vacation doesn't seem like nearly enough...

My husband, however, has been nothing but supportive.  In fact, he's the one who urged me to take the job now rather than waiting until January.  "You'll work like a dog for them anyway all month and not get paid - I know you!" he kept saying.  "You may as well get paid." Yesterday, he offered to be the one to come home and get our first grader off the bus, and so we did a trial run of what will be my "worst" day schedule-wise, where I will work straight through until 8:30 pm. 

I don't give my husband a lot of credit in the home-making department.  I've always pretty much hated the way he does housework and so did it all myself.  That, obviously, will have to change. The laundry can't wait for a week while I am on a business trip in Salt Lake City this spring. 

Last night, I came home to a sleepy little girl halfway to dreamland.  But she'd had a bath! And her homework folder had been checked! My big kid was in the shower, and her homework was done too.  They'd been fed something mostly nutritious (I didn't ask about vegetables).  Most of the dishes had been done and the table and food cleared.  I didn't dare ask if anyone had paid attention to the dog (though when my daughter emerged from the shower, reported that she had!), and the lunchboxes, I discovered unemptied by the front door.  A load of dark laundry had been done, but it waited for me untouched in the drier. 

I so badly wanted to snip that "doing the laundry" means folding it and putting it away too.  But that would be a bad move in this new world order.  Instead, I said, "Honey, will you get that laundry out of the drier and start folding it?  I'll help you put it away."  You know what? Sometimes I leave the clothes in the drier too.  AND forget to check the homework folder. And that pan in the sink totally needed soaking overnight.

In order to make 2 career families work, feminism has to factor in.  Not just the "women can have careers too!" part, but the "men can do housework and take care of kids too!" side as well.  It will be difficult for me to drop my littlest off at before-school childcare the first time.  But it is more than ok that half of the days after school, Daddy will be the one there to greet her when she gets off the bus.  She's actually lucky to have her father so involved in her life.  Really, I wonder if my children know they hit the jackpot when it comes to dads? I keep looking to feminism to remind me that Dad and Mom are equally capable of many of the same things.  And to Christianity - nope - to Jesus to remind me that I am not the only one who loves my children.  It's more important that they have both of us in their lives, and that we are working together to make our family run smoothly, however that happens to be at any given moment in time.

My husband asked me to do a poll of how often working-outside-the-home-women I know wash their wood floors.  He's convinced I wash them more.  He can't be right all of the time, can he? In the name of feminism, ladies, lie to me and say your husband washes them more than once a week;)

Full to Overflowing

Hi, I'm Tiffany.  I used to write posts for this blog. I'm just a little bit busy. This is not the only neglected relationship or responsibility of mine. It stands in line with other things suffering.

This is actually a very rich time in my life right now.  My head is spinning with all I have to do, but also with sheer amazement at the meaningful things I get to be involved in at the moment. It gets difficult when I have to choose one great thing over another great thing going on simultaneously.

We hosted girls from Uganda again last week.  It was a beautiful experience, just as it was last time.  My kids shined.  I can't really explain that, except to say that sometimes I find myself in awe when the depth of their character shows itself.  I felt guilty, however.  Other families were able to drop everything and really show their guests a great time (like we did last spring).  We are in a season where we are so busy I almost said we couldn't host.  We loved every minute of our time with them, but I found myself hoping they didn't feel as if they got a raw deal getting assigned to us.  You don't have to tell me this was a dumb way for me to feel.  But I did feel that way.

My boss actually let me off Thursday night so that I could be a part of the pre-concert meal my teen missions group (another wonderful thing I get to be a part of - I was so proud of our team that night!) was putting on for the choir, and I was able to enjoy the performance and say good-bye to the girls we hosted.  I knew, however, that I was missing a powerful meeting at work.  Just like I knew I was missing good time with the girls when I was doing powerful things at work.  I found out it was an unbelievably productive meeting that night.  One of my pet projects laced throughout my work in Syracuse has been addressing the ineptitude of the bus system.  Two representatives from Centro came to the Coalition meeting (yeah, I haven't told you about the fabulous work Visions For Change does on a macro level yet...) and really listened to concerns.

I was tempted to be upset that I missed ... but I was really glad I went to the Ugandan choir's performance.  And then it hit me.  Do you know how lucky you are, girl, to be a part of so many amazing things?  It doesn't matter if I missed the meeting - it happened.  It's something that is important to me.  And I will be able to continue to be a part of that discussion and that change.

I have always, always wanted to really do something about poverty.  All kinds.  Lately I've been able to be a part of witnessing byTavi catch like wildfire in Syracuse, and was part of an event that raised over $2,000 for those women.  I've seen the winds of change blowing in Syracuse and agencies working together like never before to remove barriers to families struggling to climb out of poverty.  I've seen change in individual's lives who I work with.  I've watched people throw themselves into caring for AIDS orphans across the ocean. My own children are in the thick of this too, throwing their own punches at poverty and discrimination.

Blows. Me. Away. I know what it means to have my heart be overflowing.