My husband and I played our first real high stakes game of "who takes the sick day to stay home with the sick kiddo?"
After a really big day for my sweet little girl, who bravely made it through her interpretive dance and the Sunday School Christmas play in truly admirable fashion, she came home looking suspiciously flushed and glassy eyed. When we offered to take her out for dinner to celebrate she didn't seem interested and mentioned that her head hurt. Fever. Poor thing wore herself out.
Jeff lost the coin toss. Because he can grade papers from home - classes are out for the semester. And honestly, he seems to be fighting what she's got. He's been out like a light before 9 every night this weekend. A day home might do him so good.
I feel an even more exaggerated panic around sickness in the house now. 6 sick days for 2 kids and a mom?! The HR rep when going over my benefits packet sweetly lamented that we can't roll our sick days over. Oh, no worries about that. I'll be using those babies up by spring.
I also feel a little sad that I won't be the one babying my baby tomorrow. Although, again, Daddy will be just fine for the job. I always feel sorry for the kids when they are down for the count with fevers, though. There's always this little worry in the back of my mind that it's something really serious.
And the prospect of me catching what they've got is just as frightening as ever. Because no matter what kind of mom you are, the world never stops for sick mamas...
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
A Good Friend
My 13 year old has a really sweet group of friends. She has a surprisingly big network of nice friends, but in particular I am speaking of her cluster of 4 good buddies. They are very silly, but very supportive of one another. My daughter got a text at 8:00 last Saturday morning from one of them wishing her good luck on her all-county orchestra audition. They decided to do a little secret Santa lunch party on the last day before break. That kind of thing.
Today we Rozelles pulled out a marathon shopping afternoon. On the Saturday before Christmas. Further initiation into the world of 2 career families with a busy teenager. While I was selecting a birthday card for my dad, my daughter said "I would like to buy this for (one of her buddies whose parents just divorced)." It was a supportive "so things have been rough, hang in there" kind of card. She bought it with her own money and said she was going to have the other 2 buddies sign it.
When I see evidence of my children's true compassion, I feel a sense of deep peace. Partly because they display character and give us a reason to hope in our future generations. But I also love to see this group of girls forming a supportive community, a safe haven in their turbulent adolescent world. I love it. She's going to be ok, my girl. When life gets ugly, she will know how to draw on the strength of her circle of girlfriends. And even more wonderful, she already knows how to give of herself to bolster the spirits of others. She knows how to be a good friend.
Today we Rozelles pulled out a marathon shopping afternoon. On the Saturday before Christmas. Further initiation into the world of 2 career families with a busy teenager. While I was selecting a birthday card for my dad, my daughter said "I would like to buy this for (one of her buddies whose parents just divorced)." It was a supportive "so things have been rough, hang in there" kind of card. She bought it with her own money and said she was going to have the other 2 buddies sign it.
When I see evidence of my children's true compassion, I feel a sense of deep peace. Partly because they display character and give us a reason to hope in our future generations. But I also love to see this group of girls forming a supportive community, a safe haven in their turbulent adolescent world. I love it. She's going to be ok, my girl. When life gets ugly, she will know how to draw on the strength of her circle of girlfriends. And even more wonderful, she already knows how to give of herself to bolster the spirits of others. She knows how to be a good friend.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Power to the People
Soooo... I thought I knew what busy was:) Have to give ya a quick update before I plunge in; my little one has transitioned well to her new arrangement! She did inform me that if we needed after school arrangements for her, she would like to go to her reading specialist's house:)
Ok, I want to finish up the description of Visions For Change with the community piece. Even though it is my employer and the consumer of 80% of my time and energy, we need to move on.
On the second Thursdays of the month, a group of representatives from the community that my boss has invited and assembled meets, along with the Circle Leaders (the participants in our program who are trying to get to a better place in life). We discuss what barriers are in the community that make it difficult for people in poverty who are making good choices on an individual basis. On our coalition we have the executive director from countless non-profit agencies and businesses around the city,some pastors and ex-CEO's too, and of course the staff and our participants. The top 5 broad barriers everyone agrees need addressing and are working on are transportation, childcare, healthcare, jobs, and housing.
It's amazing what happens whena group of powerful people put their heads together. It's amazing what happens when the powerless get a chance to contribute, or dare I say guide, the discussion. I think I've put this post off because I had a hard time wondering how I could narrow down all of the things I wanted to share into a readable length. So I picked just a few.
The commissioner of DSS came to listen to Circle Leader concerns. When has a person on public assistance had the opportunity to have the full attention of the guy in charge? My fellow Circles Coach and I prepped our participants ahead of time, helping them put their concerns on paper and honing them into a rational little speech and then practicing their presentation. They did a great job. He listened respectfully, gave honest feedback, and is tackling some hefty change as a result of his encounter. He has offered to return to give and get updates and keep the conversation open.
You know I have had a long time beef with Centro, the bus system here. I'm not the only one: it was the top concern and target of the coalition. I wrote earlier that I missed the coalition meeting when a board member from Centro was present. By a stroke of luck (for me), my boss was sick the day she was scheduled to meet with the executive director of Centro and that board member, so I got to fill in. My co-worker did all of the necessary schmoozing and I played the devil's advocate (a nice one, though). We walked away from the meeting not sure if we accomplished much of anything. The next morning we received a call from someone directly beneath him who handles all of the day-to-day stuff and had a meeting with her earlier this week. While I don't think things will drastically change for our clients, we did get some tools and ideas to pass on to them that should make their lives a little easier. Most importantly, I learned that some people at Centro, like this woman we met with, really care about people too. We gained information that helped me understand that it isn't greed and negligence that are responsible for the shortcomings of the bus system. 70% of Centro's costs are subsidized. The Ride-to-Work program that is free and available to folks for the first 90 days of a new job outside of the bus route or scheduling costs Centro $41 per ride. Centro has been forced to cut staffing and busses and therefore routes by 20% in the past few years. Why? Because the middle class doesn't need the bus. 20 years ago, there were 5 full express routes into my neighborhood that took people straight downtown in 20 minutes. Now, everyone drives. Except poor people. I, of course, had to press the issue with the director that he needed to make riding the bus more attractive to middle class customers again - what is the critical balance between enough convenient and quick routes offered to middle class workers and losing tons of money trying? He didn't really want to have that discussion. With me anyway. Imagine:) But I looked him in the eye and told him that my family was a one car family in East Lansing and tried to be in Syracuse - but that 1 hour bus ride one way (not including the 9/10 of a mile to walk to the stop and the time to transfer downtown) was not something an SU professor was willing to sacrifice when he could be walking into his office after a 25 minute car commute. I didn't know Audacity was one of my middle names either.
Anyway, it is wonderful to have the opportunity to work for change on a larger scale for my clients and community. We Circles Coaches are trying to make connections to large employers to get our participants a foot in the door, showing employers the benefit of the program and learning what kinds of skills and support our clients need to be equipped with. We have a meeting with the CEO of Upstate, the hospital and SUNY med school in Syracuse to set up some sort of career exploration project between us, for instance.
When I opened up the blog today to start writing, the title caught my eye and I thought about the place I am now. It's less that I've reinvented myself and more that I am actually becoming the person that in my heart, I knew was longing to break out. What about you?
Ourselves, Emerging?
Ok, I want to finish up the description of Visions For Change with the community piece. Even though it is my employer and the consumer of 80% of my time and energy, we need to move on.
On the second Thursdays of the month, a group of representatives from the community that my boss has invited and assembled meets, along with the Circle Leaders (the participants in our program who are trying to get to a better place in life). We discuss what barriers are in the community that make it difficult for people in poverty who are making good choices on an individual basis. On our coalition we have the executive director from countless non-profit agencies and businesses around the city,some pastors and ex-CEO's too, and of course the staff and our participants. The top 5 broad barriers everyone agrees need addressing and are working on are transportation, childcare, healthcare, jobs, and housing.
It's amazing what happens whena group of powerful people put their heads together. It's amazing what happens when the powerless get a chance to contribute, or dare I say guide, the discussion. I think I've put this post off because I had a hard time wondering how I could narrow down all of the things I wanted to share into a readable length. So I picked just a few.
The commissioner of DSS came to listen to Circle Leader concerns. When has a person on public assistance had the opportunity to have the full attention of the guy in charge? My fellow Circles Coach and I prepped our participants ahead of time, helping them put their concerns on paper and honing them into a rational little speech and then practicing their presentation. They did a great job. He listened respectfully, gave honest feedback, and is tackling some hefty change as a result of his encounter. He has offered to return to give and get updates and keep the conversation open.
You know I have had a long time beef with Centro, the bus system here. I'm not the only one: it was the top concern and target of the coalition. I wrote earlier that I missed the coalition meeting when a board member from Centro was present. By a stroke of luck (for me), my boss was sick the day she was scheduled to meet with the executive director of Centro and that board member, so I got to fill in. My co-worker did all of the necessary schmoozing and I played the devil's advocate (a nice one, though). We walked away from the meeting not sure if we accomplished much of anything. The next morning we received a call from someone directly beneath him who handles all of the day-to-day stuff and had a meeting with her earlier this week. While I don't think things will drastically change for our clients, we did get some tools and ideas to pass on to them that should make their lives a little easier. Most importantly, I learned that some people at Centro, like this woman we met with, really care about people too. We gained information that helped me understand that it isn't greed and negligence that are responsible for the shortcomings of the bus system. 70% of Centro's costs are subsidized. The Ride-to-Work program that is free and available to folks for the first 90 days of a new job outside of the bus route or scheduling costs Centro $41 per ride. Centro has been forced to cut staffing and busses and therefore routes by 20% in the past few years. Why? Because the middle class doesn't need the bus. 20 years ago, there were 5 full express routes into my neighborhood that took people straight downtown in 20 minutes. Now, everyone drives. Except poor people. I, of course, had to press the issue with the director that he needed to make riding the bus more attractive to middle class customers again - what is the critical balance between enough convenient and quick routes offered to middle class workers and losing tons of money trying? He didn't really want to have that discussion. With me anyway. Imagine:) But I looked him in the eye and told him that my family was a one car family in East Lansing and tried to be in Syracuse - but that 1 hour bus ride one way (not including the 9/10 of a mile to walk to the stop and the time to transfer downtown) was not something an SU professor was willing to sacrifice when he could be walking into his office after a 25 minute car commute. I didn't know Audacity was one of my middle names either.
Anyway, it is wonderful to have the opportunity to work for change on a larger scale for my clients and community. We Circles Coaches are trying to make connections to large employers to get our participants a foot in the door, showing employers the benefit of the program and learning what kinds of skills and support our clients need to be equipped with. We have a meeting with the CEO of Upstate, the hospital and SUNY med school in Syracuse to set up some sort of career exploration project between us, for instance.
When I opened up the blog today to start writing, the title caught my eye and I thought about the place I am now. It's less that I've reinvented myself and more that I am actually becoming the person that in my heart, I knew was longing to break out. What about you?
Ourselves, Emerging?
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