Everyone Needs a Housewife, Including Me

My oldest daughter checked a vegan cookbook out at the library, and as we sat looking at recipes I had this "well, we could try that" mentality.  Until I started calculating the time it would take to boil water and pour it over cashews, let them sit for hours, then drain off the liquid and add lemon juice, etc.  to make "cheese." To make one ingredient.  That's not even an actual step in the recipe.  Taking care of kids and feeding them is really hard work, even when they are not trying to be healthy vegans who run off 500 calories a day. And when they are infants - good grief! Every nursing mother should get a year off from every other responsibility in her life. Isn't that in Leviticus or something?

I want to go on record saying that I agree with the stance that housework and kidwork is undervalued in our society.  And also the stance that the previous statement is so because it always has been considered "women's work."

My husband is sort of fascinated by the Mormon faith.  He finds it interesting and reads up on it.  When I am feeling thoroughly rotten I joke that he just wants to look into getting another wife.  You know, younger, cuter, not rotten like me. 

Then I got to thinking.  I  want another wife in the house. (Ok, I fully acknowledge that most Mormons do not believe in polygamy).  Someone to help cook, clean, run errands, get the kids to where they need to be, make sure everything is running smoothly in the household, keeping track of doctor and vet appointments and making lunches.  Filling in on the nights I am too tired.  Of course, maybe I wouldn't be too tired if she were around to assist me with my house/kids workload.  And I would have time to get my hair cut and colored and all those other things women do to feel attractive. 

Stuff needs to get done. Either you pay someone to do it, or you do it yourself.  But our economy is such that it is very, very hard for most people to give up an income to take care of things at home.  And our economy is such that those women who are paid to clean people's houses and watch people's kids can't afford to have anyone do that for them.  And if they were paid enough to make a real living, we couldn't afford them. 

Men don't usually do full time kidwork and housework. They usually aren't maids and they usually aren't nannies. It's "unmasculine" and oh, look - we just found ourselves in the deep water of  societal expectations on men concerning masculinity. All I know is that when men iron or clean bathrooms they are sainted.  When women do it, no one notices that it even got done.  Probably because it was 2 am when those things happened and so everyone thought elves did it.  When I help throw that stinking heavy canoe on top of the car, no one saints me.  If I chop down the rogue branches in the yard and haul them out to the curb, I do not get any extra recognition.  I get, "So what are we having for dinner?" I do feel for men, being under so much pressure to be macho and tough and I'm not arguing that they have their own set of societal fallout to deal with.  I am also too fried to see my argument through to its conclusion. So I am just going to surrender my feminism and Christianity and say that housewives are a great idea - I want one too.