Basking in Forgiveness

I'm a United Methodist now.  To review: I was baptized a Roman Catholic in my infancy, later baptized in a Baptist church, spent a good chunk of time in Evangelical churches, and am now a member of a United Methodist Church.  I like being United Methodist for several reasons.  For a bit of background, our beloved pastor is being moved to another congregation by the Bishop & Co.  (The removal of our pastor is my most un-favorite thing about being a United Methodist). BUT, his replacement was announced this Sunday and SHE is an African American woman.  I like the way my United Methodist identity coexists so nicely with my feminist one.

Secondly, United Methodists follow the church calendar.  I am a seasonal person.  It's how I can be a Northerner.  Snow has to come in the winter, followed by flowery and rainy spring, followed by summers with fresh produce and swimming in lakes, followed by colorful foliage and crisp air in fall.  I like that rhythm in the church calendar as well.  Times for celebration and times for reflection.  We are in Lent right now.  I like being given a time of year to change pace, slow down, and pay attention.  It is a time to think about what we have been given, and what that cost.

Inevitably, we find our weakness in this season.  Human beings can't do soul-searching and not find weakness.  Even if we have not technically cheated on our Lent sacrifices, we realize our capacity for weakness.  Even if we do not participate in Lent and make sacrifices, it takes one reminder of some off-handed remark we made that wreaked havoc, or one harsh word to our children, or one covert purchase receipt to throw in our faces that the thing we are most capable of is messing up.

The ultimate purpose of the Sacrifice we celebrate is forgiveness.  Forgiveness.  Let that word wash over you and loosen the goo sticking to the corners of your soul. We are good at beating ourselves up; we are not good at accepting forgiveness.  We're sure we need to pay more penance, flog ourselves a bit more.  We swallow guilt continually, and make vows to try harder.  New Year's resolutions are kissin' cousins to Lent give-ups.

We are Americans, gosh darn it.  We pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and propel forward on our ingenuity and gumption.  We do not want to do things like accept help or acknowledge stuff we can't do.  But, we can't be perfect.  We have bad days.  We might do really well on one thing we're working on only to discover we have completely neglected something (or someone) else.

In both the women's movement and in Christian living we exhaust ourselves trying to get everything right.  Sometimes, we just need to stop, slow down, and soak up forgiveness like a Northerner on Spring Break soaks up sun on a beach in Florida.  I could use a little of both right now - how about you?