Good Fences Make Good Wives

I love my Monday night book group that meets every other week.  I have made it VERY clear how my sanity kind of hangs on me getting to go to these meetings.  I don't do a lot of outings for me.  This one is a non-negotiable, however.

My husband is getting into umpiring as a side job.  It's way more intense than one would think.  I try to not interfere.  He announced a few weeks ago that there are now Monday meetings every so often.  I immediately reminded him about my meetings.  He assured me he would take care of childcare.

His solution, I just discovered, is to have the kids stay home alone, and he will pay our 7th grader (less than he could anyone else) to babysit.  Yes, she completed her babysitting course and has a certificate, but they have never stayed home in the evening hours, and we are both in meetings, not at the dairy store grabbing milk.  Our kindergartner is howling mad about the arrangement, professing that her sister is an awful babysitter.  Sister is insulted and ticked off.  But she secretly confessed to her grandmother that she is nervous.  So my mom called me and told me that the girls are nervous.  Great. I think everyone is expecting me to back down and stay home.

Am I ? Nope. I am calling a college-age girl, and Jeff will pay her.

Do I feel a little guilty? Not this time. I've laid down reasonable boundaries.  My family is pushing them.  It's human nature. But I make a lot of sacrifices for them on a daily basis.  My soul needs nourishing; I need friends too.  In the past, I would have bowed out of group.

And then I would have stewed and been mad at Jeff.

Which in the long run, is far worse.  It's not wrong for him to want to pursue something he is interested in either.  I shouldn't make him feel guilty about going anymore than I should be made to feel guilty.  My commitment preceded his, and the deal is that this time, he is responsible for finding childcare.  He didn't come up with a good solution, which is the part I am irritated about.  So I've approached him about other options.  He is a reasonable person and we reached an agreement.  Much better than me playing the martyr.